there are some people
that I don't like talking to
because they drain me
no… energy…
but what if that person is myself
i'm tired of myself
sick of seeing my face
want to escape this body
sick of my personality
don't want to spend so much time talking to me
so irritating
so tiring
to see me
to talk to me
to know me
i'm jealous of you
because your alone doesn't have me
do you know how lucky you are??
i'm sorry for you
because you know me, you spend time with me
i'm so sorry we had to go this far :(
i frightened of the word 'alone'
because that means just
m/e
i want to scream:
(though my thoughts are already, always screaming)
how do you make emotions separate from practical things
(you cry because of a computer???)
how do you maintain enough emotion to care about what's important
(you wonder about quitting activism???)
how do you discard the unnecessary emotion and suffering
(you torture yourself about love???)
how do you not be me
how do you be so lucky
how do you
how do you
how do
how do
how
how
h
h
h