tired of myself

there are some people

that I don't like talking to

because they drain me

no… energy…

but what if that person is myself

i'm tired of myself

sick of seeing my face

want to escape this body

sick of my personality

don't want to spend so much time talking to me

so irritating

so tiring

to see me

to talk to me

to know me

i'm jealous of you

because your alone doesn't have me

do you know how lucky you are??

i'm sorry for you

because you know me, you spend time with me

i'm so sorry we had to go this far :(

i frightened of the word 'alone'

because that means just

m/e

i want to scream:

(though my thoughts are already, always screaming)

how do you make emotions separate from practical things

(you cry because of a computer???)

how do you maintain enough emotion to care about what's important

(you wonder about quitting activism???)

how do you discard the unnecessary emotion and suffering

(you torture yourself about love???)

how do you not be me

how do you be so lucky

how do you

how do

how

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