It feels too late when I realise it, and it hits me so hard like a car crash. Now I’m stumbling out of the car, looking at the wreck I’ve made. My legs torn; every inch of my skin is bruised; but the place that hurts most is my heart. I don’t even know who to say sorry to. To the tree that I hit? To the people that made my car, whose efforts have now gone to waste? To my parents, for wasting their money on the car? To myself, for everything?
***
when i was growing up, to save the environment meant that i turned off the lights, use a cup when i brush my teeth, and don’t leave litter around; when i grew into my teenage years, to save the environment meant that i started recycling more, stopped using straws, and go vegan; when i grew into adulthood, to save the environment meant learning about carbon credits, electric vehicles, net zero, ESG and more.
and now, reflecting about my experiences in the Philippines, realising how these contrasting understandings of ‘environmentalism’ are worlds apart, in my country and yours? that my idea of environmentalism is falling apart; a very different version is louder here. and suddenly i’m tired of the narratives i have been hearing all my life, i want to fling it out the window and shout that it’s all a big fat lie.
because we've been conditioned to think of the environment as a distinct, separate spheres from our everyday life, that we need to “do this and do that for the environment”, that now as children we’re made to worry about it in all the things we do, and i can’t believe that at first i thought that was good.
i want to live my life free of these worries. is it even sustainable to keep having to worry about my carbon footprint? is it right for us to worry about the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, is it polluted is it safe? to worry about the clothes we wear, the phones we have, is it fast fashion is the metal from slave trade? to worry about the things we throw away, is it going to another country or landfill because it's impossible to recycle? and the fact that these decisions are framed as ethically conscious, makes me now so thoroughly disillusioned. because the people who can afford to opt out of opaque supply chains or even think about all these complex topics, are also those who have privilege. and similarly it is privileged people who are now shaping the dominant narrative on ‘sustainability’ and ‘ethical consumerism’ and all the fancy jargon.
i myself acknowledge that i might have been part of this problem, believing in this narrative that we should always think about the environment, and that all these fancy overused, corporate and co-opted terms were good. well, not anymore.
in Singapore, most of us understand climate change from textbooks, we watch a video and feel a sense of helplessness, sadness for a while before we move on with our everyday lives. then we’re being told that if we do this and that, we are saving the planet. and you buy into that narrative that ultimately you need to do your part because if everyone thinks like you the planet will die. it's both difficult to see concretely, the problem and the solution, they are all so abstractly understood, told to us by someone else who supposedly knows better than us.
but in Philippines, you see the environmental crises unfolding right in front of your eyes. here you’re not watching a one-off video. the video goes on replay, even accelerating at two times speed. because when the number of typhoons your city is struck with increases year on year, you know that climate change is here. when the supposed ‘clean energy’ and ‘electric vehicle’ movement is also driving the illegal nickel mining in your hometown [1], you know that the “green transition” is not just. when land reclamation is eating up the livelihoods of the fisherfolk [2], you know that this is not poverty-uplifting but poverty-inducing. you know it, you feel it, and acutely.
it took me a while to realise that environmentalism in Singapore doesn't apply here. to me, this phenomenon is not one that is good or bad -- it’s inevitable (i guess) and reflective of the privilege we have here in Singapore, as a high-income nation how divorced we are from the everyday realities of farmers and Indigenous peoples. the livelihood threats they face from climate change, from corporate aggression and political pressures. over the years we've shaped environmental conversations in various inaccessible ways, stressing expertise and awards and 101 ways of saying congratulations, you've made it to the top. but environmental work isn't about climbing higher and higher.
so then, what is an environmentalism that peels away privilege? i think it is simply it about knowing the language of the people, not creating a new 'environmental language' that only a select few know the vocabulary of. knowing the environmental struggles they are facing. about allowing environmental voices from the ground-up to flourish. celebrating traditional, local and simple ways of living. protecting community spaces where people bond over farming and coffee (although i do not drink coffee, please do not offer me a cup). encouraging habits and practices that connect us to the soil and to the earth. drawing joy and peace from seeing the mountain and ocean; that is enough.
we've been too fixated on the small-scale that we lose sight of the bigger picture. we've been too focused on shaming people when they don't seem to adopt environmental habits in every inch of their lives. we've been too caught up with the minute that we forget that this entire environmental cause stemmed from systems of exploitation and colonialism, not from people eating meat or forgetting to bring a reusable bag. we've complicated environmentalism, overwhelming and isolating people.
so frankly, i’m tired of hearing again and again these advertisements on what being environmentally friendly is all about. i think they got it wrong. it really isn’t that complicated. it shouldn’t be that complicated.
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